Author: mattkassoff

Hi all, I'm writing this post from my hospital bed in Denver. This is not my preferred residence. The hospital staff is wonderful as can be but I wish we weren't seeing so much of each other. Friday night I went to sleep with a fever(2 days after my 3rd trial infusion.) Saturday morning I … Continue reading Cancer is still a huge fucker.

Hey everyone, Been a bit since and update. I was able to get in the travel I had planned - a family weekend in LA, a birthday celebration with some friends and family in NOLA and a few other short trips. I also had a 2 night stint in the hospital after I received test … Continue reading Quick Update

A Cancer Patient's Manifesto. Well, here we are. Here I am. I've made the decision to stop doing chemotherapy. I've been doing FOLFOX - Fluorouracil and Oxaliplatin along with another drug I can't remember right now for a bit, intermittently. My choices are not great. Would you like a shit sandwich or a shit sandwich … Continue reading Rocks, Hard Places and All the Spaces in Between

So, I met with my oncologist today. We're going to schedule a scan and see if these increased numbers correlate with growth. We may be reaching the end of traditional chemo efficacy. I'm setting up a consult with a research center here in Denver to talk about a Stage 1 Clinical Trial. I'm not sure … Continue reading Where We’re At, Right Now

Hi everybody, it's me, Butchie. It's been a while since an update here and I have to come clean with you all - I'm beginning to feel like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. I'm still alive, a year and half past my diagnosis date. I thought then that I had less than six months to … Continue reading Are you there friends? It’s me, Butchie

Death is coming for me. Don't get me wrong, death comes for us all, eventually. It's just that I have to deal with the knowledge that death is aggressively coming for me. Following my footsteps, never far away and forever dangerously close. I'm not trying to beat death any more. Merely trying to shake it … Continue reading Preachy Thoughts (and Sentimental Pictures) From Somewhere Over the Middle of the Atlantic

I'm laying in bed, feeling like shit after the start of my new chemo regimen. My 5fU pump is attached and I got through the Oxaliplatin and Avastin without issue yesterday, other than the typical grossness and nausea. I wasn't sure if it would take a bit for the Oxaliplatin toxicity to build again but … Continue reading Chemo: Round whatever

Well, Fuck. Again. Much like my day and post from January when I found out that even though surgery had been successful, the cancer had already returned to my liver, yesterday was a bad day. I had my PET scan scheduled for 1pm and needed an empty stomach for the scan so hadn't eaten all … Continue reading Well, Fuck. Again.

I'm trying not to borrow trouble. But I'll readily admit, it's pretty hard right now,. I hit the wall with chemo - it's breaking me mentally and the building toxicity from continued treatments is making recovery harder each time. I had a CT scan on 5/24 that showed no growth or shrinkage of the tumors … Continue reading Borrowing Trouble

I'm sitting here at Kaiser Franklin in the infusion center receiving round 16 of chemo. It still sucks. I'm feeling the effects of chemo longer after each infusion as the toxicity builds up from continuing treatments. I'm still crying often but trying to fill all the time in between with laughter. I had my labs … Continue reading Chemo: Rounds 14-16 – Plateau?