Author: mattkassoff

Numbers are a mindfuck. You can't ignore them but you're also not supposed to read too much into them. Sometimes you want to manipulate an interpretation of that data in one way to support your arguement, other times you'll want to manipulate that very same data in an entirely different way to argue an opposite … Continue reading Numbers Are a Mindfuck.

I know I keep reiterating this fact but chemo really does suck the worst. Like, entirely, on the whole.. Enough so that it's literally the predominant thought in my mind all day, most every day. I will continue to be skeptical about its efficacy until I see some results, of which the first time will … Continue reading Let’s Make No Mistake About It

Not a huge update here. Chemo went ok yesterday. Better than the first treatment but still not something I'd recommend for a good time. I had a consult with an oncology PA before my infusions and we changed a few things around to try and make me more comfortable this time. I made it through … Continue reading Chemo: Round 2

Well, tomorrow is round two of chemo. I'll go to the medical center at some point today to confirm that my blood counts and platelets are where they need to be and get the green light for tomorrow, but I don't foresee any issues. Treatment is weird. Chemo was really hard the first time (along … Continue reading But Right Now, That’s Just Not a Certainty

So, the cancer affects your life in ways seemingly unrelated to the masses in your colon and liver. it kind of adds a sort of bonus level sometimes to ordinarily menial tasks. Don’t get me wrong, before cancer, going to the dentist was never a fun thing to do. With cancer, it’s even more unpleasant. … Continue reading As high as you’re legally allowed to give it, I’ll take it…

So I find myself at some strange sort of crossroads. Less of a crossroads to sell my soul for a special talent or musical instrument but more of a crossroads that's like a Catholic priest in a confessional intersecting with a prognosticating carnival freak/guess your weight guy. The fact that I may not have the … Continue reading Secrets, Secrets are no fun(well, they kind of are it seems…)

Well, there's not much news today which is wholeheartedly welcomed here. My take-home chemo is going fine, a little nausea and a few naps today. Some good cuddles with the dogs and a little birthday celebration for my fiancee. Here's a little preview of the pics my wonderful friend took of us for our engagement … Continue reading Not Much News, Thankfully

Even as I sit here in Oncology, hooked up to my 2nd Chemo drug of the day, it's hard to comprehend my current reality. Less than 2 weeks ago, I never could have imagined that this is where I'd be today. I'm certainly not in denial - this is most definitely happening. I have Stage … Continue reading Inconceivable

Today was a better day than yesterday. Tonight feels, dare I say, the most normal I've felt in a week. As I write this there's a movie playing, I just ate some delicious Mediterranean take-out and had a little glass of champagne. Why champagne? Emily and I are celebrating. This morning, I was woken up … Continue reading Some days will be better.

Today was a hard day. The first of many hard days, I'm sure. I did shit I needed to do to get ready. I went to Kaiser and dropped off my disability paperwork with the oncology department, got my blood drawn to make sure my blood levels are good enough for me to receive treatment … Continue reading Cancer still sucks.