Secrets, Secrets are no fun(well, they kind of are it seems…)

So I find myself at some strange sort of crossroads. Less of a crossroads to sell my soul for a special talent or musical instrument but more of a crossroads that’s like a Catholic priest in a confessional intersecting with a prognosticating carnival freak/guess your weight guy.

The fact that I may not have the longest time to live seems to have brought me to some sort of mystical realm. This is a realm where common, normal-speed-dying folks flirt with their own reality and mortality by dipping their toes in and letting go and confide in their sick friend some of the things that burden them and maybe keep them up at night. I’ve become a conduit for all sorts of admissions and confessions for these folks. You may be one of them. There are many and you all have secrets you’re comfortable sharing because my promise of taking them to the grave seems more sincere and imminently probable than someone not in a battle for their life with a deadly disease.

For example, here are just few things I’ve learned since getting diagnosed with cancer:

  1. Whose marriages are stable.
  2. Whose marriages are hanging on by a thread.
  3. Who really killed JFK.
  4. Who is adopted.
  5. Who is not adopted but the guy everyone thinks is their dad isn’t really their dad.
  6. Who actually likes their siblings.
  7. Who just makes it seem like they like their siblings because it’s easy to fake with social media(no secrets for me – Mara and Naomi know I love them because I just wrote it here on the blog here so it totally has to be true…).
  8. That everyone literally likes me the best out of myself and my siblings(Sorry Mara and Naomi, it’s just the truth but at least, as I pointed out in the number above this one, I love you guys even if you’re 2nd and 3rd fiddle).
  9. Whether the moon landing was real.
  10. If even born and bred Chicagoans(not to bother mentioning the transplants who are trying to acclimate) actually believe whether “Deep Dish Pizza” is a pizza or a casserole.
  11. What happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas. It apparently only stays there until you have a sick friend or family member(so remember to think about your actions before you perform them – NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE AD CAMPAIGN IS).
  12. The number of times any given person has sharted in public.
  13. What the real story is with Area 51 and what the aliens want with us.
  14. Whether the earth is round(Kidding, if you question that please close the tab to my blog, go directly to a mirror, slap yourself in the face and try to remember if you may have eaten paint chips containing lead when you were a child).
  15. What space smells like.
  16. Whether Dock Ellis was really high on LSD when he pitched his no hitter and who gave him the acid he might have been on.
  17. Just how big my support system is and how much you all rock in your solidarity with me in my fight against cancer.

Anway, I can’t sleep. I’m not feeling the worst from the chemo, but definitely not the best either. Chemo sucks but I’m anxious to start the next round on 7/21 and am curious to no end about whether this will work to shrink all the masses in me. Only time will tell and I’m not good at patience. But I don’t really have a choice, so until I get real news or something of substance to share, you’re going to have to deal with absurd posts like this that help me pass the time.

Much love to you all and I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

-Matt

2 thoughts on “Secrets, Secrets are no fun(well, they kind of are it seems…)

  1. Been waiting for your post all day. I love you to the end of the world and back again. You’re hilarious. Don’t let this demon take that away. 💕

    Like

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